a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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