She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize