in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
