just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
