it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
