just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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