He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
