Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
