Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
