halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
