so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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