Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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