oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just pee around me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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