from now on my penis is your penis
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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