I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
