I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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