her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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