I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
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and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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