Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
