Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.

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  (248): I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you. http://tfl.nu/rwr0
  Replies (1) Good night (1155) Bad night (572)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  Thanks for throwing up on me.

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  (859): I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night. (1-859): Thanks for throwing up on me. http://tfl.nu/msvj
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (1172)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.

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  (503): I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink. http://tfl.nu/0fnk
  Replies (114) Good night (3877) Bad night (699)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.

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  (231): I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic. http://tfl.nu/t71g
  Replies (12) Good night (4086) Bad night (792)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

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  (856): i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty" http://tfl.nu/8yrq
  Replies (45) Good night (4445) Bad night (1367)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.

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  (813): Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever. http://tfl.nu/e0dp
  Replies (33) Good night (5657) Bad night (931)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.

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  (914): i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls. http://tfl.nu/57re
  Replies (23) Good night (8377) Bad night (1656)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

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  (248): He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me. http://tfl.nu/d9on
  Replies (18) Good night (4635) Bad night (1220)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.

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  (308): Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/fw94
  Replies (14) Good night (6051) Bad night (1100)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.

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  (780): Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT. http://tfl.nu/4w87
  Replies (13) Good night (2014) Bad night (1158)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.

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  (202): he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/t5e0
  Replies (18) Good night (5513) Bad night (734)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...

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  (832): the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left... http://tfl.nu/9li6
  Replies (7) Good night (650) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!

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  (701): He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time! http://tfl.nu/6xbr
  Replies (27) Good night (2143) Bad night (887)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...

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  (440): I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning... http://tfl.nu/pfq3
  Replies (14) Good night (1733) Bad night (737)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b

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  (804): You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b http://tfl.nu/6jtc
  Replies (8) Good night (759) Bad night (418)

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