he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
