Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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