Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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