Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
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So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.