Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cut my penus on the lid.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.