Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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