i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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