i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
