she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
