The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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