we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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