If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
