I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think a kid would responsible me up
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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