I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
