the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
