That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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