# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
