South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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