I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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