I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
