hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
