the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize