Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
