you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
