for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
