Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
