gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm like, not good at living.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
