You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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