Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
