im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?