Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving

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  (949): while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/8zv1
  Replies (20) Good night (8822) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing

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  (201): he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing http://tfl.nu/t0vu
  Replies (51) Good night (1233) Bad night (5301) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker

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  (330): I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker http://tfl.nu/il1k
  Replies (15) Good night (6246) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one

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  (580): Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one http://tfl.nu/xo36
  Replies (7) Good night (2825) Bad night (1153) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?

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  (217): I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college? http://tfl.nu/03bi
  Replies (13) Good night (4483) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

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  (305): We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well http://tfl.nu/ng2b
  Replies (8) Good night (3088) Bad night (1349) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

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  (914): Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl" http://tfl.nu/cqzd
  Replies (12) Good night (2345) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  True on all accounts.

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  (702): I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me. (1-702): True on all accounts. http://tfl.nu/tt9s
  Replies (13) Good night (3368) Bad night (812)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.

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  (+44): One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend. http://tfl.nu/kcdy
  Replies (12) Good night (2343) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.

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  (803): I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches. http://tfl.nu/mo6q
  Replies (22) Good night (1551) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties

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  (916): Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties http://tfl.nu/1wl7
  Replies (3) Good night (1284) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry

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  (775): there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry http://tfl.nu/tonv
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?

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  (541): theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch? http://tfl.nu/3hhq
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (1762) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived

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  (805): If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived http://tfl.nu/668l
  Replies (5) Good night (673) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?

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  (317): I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened? http://tfl.nu/0nes
  Replies (2) Good night (137) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt

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