i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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