bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
