I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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