the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He better not be in your backpack
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
