just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
