is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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