they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
