using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
