You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home