that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
