Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize