absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
