um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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