I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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