I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
