The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
3pm strippers are depressing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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